Date Rape
When you think of rape, you might think of a stranger coming out of an alley or some kind of dark place. But mostly that's not how it happens. Sometimes even your own friend or someone you already know can rape you, even your own boyfriend. Sometimes dates don't bring violence, but on some occasions they do. Date rape is when you actually know the person. (Booher 47).
The difference between sex and rape is that rape is something you don't plan or agree on, and it's also forced. You would never expect that from someone you know, like your boyfriend. When it happens, it's usually because the victims are on some kind of drug or drunk. Date rape can use force physically or emotionally. Rape involves forced sex, and has nothing to do with love or passion. It is more likely to be aggressive and violent. (Booher).
Most people might think that the person who had been raped was somehow asking for it because of how they might be dressed or have acted. In most cases that is not true. But in order to change people's attitudes, they have to discuss date rape even though it's hard. (Booher).
There are different kinds of rapes. For example, there is the anger rape, which expresses hatred towards the victim and anger. When the rapist is angry, he wants to let it out on the victims and make them suffer also. Then there are the power rapes, in which a rapists just wants all the power and to control the victim. Another one is sadistic rape, when the rapist scares awake their victim in their sleep. Also there is the stranger rape, when someone out of nowhere that you don't even know can rape you. Then there is likewise marital rape, when your married partner forces you to have sex. Last, is this kind of rape that a young guy teenager can rape an older teenager. (Oh).
Alcohol and drugs are sometimes involved in date rapes. Some kind of drugs can easily be poured into drinks without even noticing it. From that, the drink may cause the victim to forget everything and not remember what happened. When both the male and the female are under the influence, it is still rape. Using drugs and getting drunk is one of the common ways to be raped by someone you might be partying with and least expecting it from. Also, pouring drugs in someone's drink is one of the easiest ways, for a rapist to take advantage of a date because you can't see the drug or smell it. (Miller).
As Maryann Miller writes, “Being drunk makes a woman more vulnerable to rape. Her responses are slower and less effective. Maybe her speech is so slurred that she can't even put her objections into words.” (27). A young teen who hasn't been drunk before might say things she doesn't mean, and a man could get a wrong idea. A young girl could find herself in a situation with a man alone -even someone she thinks likes and cares about her—and end up raped.
Some people believe that the women are responsible for being raped; it's either how they are attractively dressed or how they act toward others when they drink. That's not true; it doesn't matter if the women are under the influence or do wear attractive clothing, they can still be the victims of rape. Not just women, younger girls and mostly teenage girls can be raped. In most cases, older men rape teenage girls. What I don't understand is why someone, especially a relative, want to rape someone younger. How can someone be so cruel and do such a thing like that, and especially to their own relative. No matter how the female dresses or acts toward her drinking, she doesn't have any fault in being raped. Rape simply just happens, and it happens to anybody not just those are attractively dressed and look pretty or who are too drunk to even remember what happened. Rape can just happen to anyone at anytime. (Homeier).
People might think that the females are the ones usually getting raped. It can be true but it's not always true. Not just women-men can also be raped, but are not as often as women are. Pretty much it's mostly boys and teenagers who are raped by an older woman. Usually you would hear about babysitters raping the younger boys. Most of the time women don't get accused of rape because usually to everyone men are the ones that want sex and the women are usually the victims. For those who don't know, females do rape some men. It's not really common because it usually doesn't happen as much as females getting raped. Therefore, you don't always hear that. (Homeier).
Sometimes we think about why do men rape, why do they want to rape younger girls. Most of the time, men rape because they want sex and it's either they are single and are looking for some one or maybe their partner might not want to have sex. To that, they intend looking for younger girls because they are attractive or maybe they haven't had an intimacy with anyone before. That's how some men rape younger girls, because they are still fresh, young and attractively pretty. What I don't understand is even thought their partner might not want to give him what he wants, it doesn't give them any right to go out looking for someone younger than them. (Digger).
There are not always ways to prevent being raped, but being careful whom you go out with and going with a group are two helpful ideas. Don't go with someone you don't even know, especially alone. Rape usually happens unexpectedly; when you think you aren't going to be raped, it happens when you least expect it. It is good to go prepared everywhere you go, just in case something might happen. Rape can happen at any time and anywhere. (Oh).
Ways to avoid date rape are important to study for all teens. According to Dianna Booher, some basic precautions include: Never discuss your plans in front of strangers; don't use shortcuts; never hitchhike; and always walk curbside and vary your walking route on your time. Teens and their friends can study scenarios and decide how to handle them using books from the library or counseling office. (Booher 25).
“To start living like a victim to avoid becoming one is not the solution,” writes Andrea Todd, a young woman who lives in New York City. (Rape 134). Ms Todd advocates not giving up your activities but rather finding safer ways to pursue them. Teens can go to places in groups and let family members know more about where they are going. Teens can even discuss going to safer places together as a group rather than going out to parties where it's more dangerous.
In my opinion, date rape is something so cruel. I don't understand why someone would want to do it in the first place if they know they are going to end up caught and taken to jail for it. But some how they just don't care as long as they have what they are looking for, and they do not think of the consequence. Sometimes they take advantage of teens because they know teens might not be as strong and can't protect themselves and are weaker than them (Byrne).
I think it is hard for boys, girls and women to report a rape because they might know the person who did it and it would be hard for them to prove that it did happen. Or usually when they know the person really well and might face some consequences when they turn in the one who raped them, they might be scared to do it. Especially the younger girls, when they are raped by a parent, uncle or grandfather, or some other relative, they don't want to turn them in because they might not want to see them in jail or they could be threatened by them.
Teens and their families need to become more aware of date rape and its consequences. Sexual and domestic violence coalitions often produce materials that can help young people become more aware of any dangers around them and provide phone numbers for times of crisis.
Works Cited
Booher, Dianna . Rape. 1st. New York: New York, New York, 1981.
Byrne, Sally. "Acquaintance Rape: ." Whole family.com. 03/22/2001. 5 Feb 2008 http://www.wholefamily.com/aboutteensnow/sexuality/rape/date_rape.html
"Definition of Date Rape." MedicineNet.com. 2/20/2000. 5 Feb 2008 http://www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=12523
Digger. "Judge Edward Cashman Gives Man Who Repeatedly Raped 7-Year-Old Girl For 4 Years 60 Days In Jail." Diggers Realm. 1996-2008. 29 Feb 2008 http://www.diggersrealm.com/mt/archives/001489.html
Hardcastle,, Mike . "What EVERY GUY Must Know About Date Rape." About.com. 2008. 5 Feb 2008 http://teenadvice.about.com/od/daterape/a/daterapeguysfyi_2.htm
Homeier, Barbara. "Date Rape." Nemours Foundation. 1995. Teens Health. Feb. 1, 2008 http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/problems/date_rape.html
Miller, Maryann. Drugs and Date Rape. 1st. New York, NY: The Rosen Publishing Group, INC, 1995.
Oh, Laura. "There Is Hope... Fight Against RAPE!." Albany. 1988. 29 Feb 2008 http://www.albany.edu/~lo2354/problem.htm
Rape. San Diego, CA: Greenhaven Press, Inc., 2001.
Mitchell, Sharon. "Counseling Services." Students First. 14-Aug-2007 . 5 Feb 2008 http://ub-counseling.buffalo.edu/violenceoverview.shtml
