In "Home Burial" and "The Death of a Hired Man," Robert Frost uses sorrow to express the effect of death on the living. These poems show different families that are dealing with death and the ways that they refuse to romanticise grief. In "Home Burial", a woman is unable to move on from the loss of her child, which results in the separation from her husband. In "The Death of a Hired Man," a married couple express their different feelings toward a man who used to work for them and that had come home to die. In these poems, the husband and wife respond to death in different ways. As a result, they disagree with each other have a difficulty understanding the feelings of their partner. Frost uses dialogue in "Home Burial" and "The Death of a Hired Man" to show us the way that death affects the world and the people in it.
In the beginning of "Home Burial", we see Amy coming down the stairs of her home. On her way down the stairwell she "look[s] back over her shoulder in some fear"(3) and turns away. Her husband sees her and asks her if anything is wrong, "What is it you see / From up there always-for I want to know" (6-7). From this example, we are able to understand that the wife is petrified of her husband and that he wants know what she is looking at. She is uncomfortable as "her face change[s] from terrified to dull" at the sight of her husband (9). We realize that the husband is controlling in the way that he stands over her. The husband is "Mounting until she cowered under him" (11). He is strong and powerful while the wife is weak and beneath him. The wife tells him that even if he looks, he will not be able to understand what the object of her attention is. The wife "stiffening her neck ," does not reveal her feelings to her husband (14). From this example, we are able to recognize the tension between the couple. The wife's refusal to answer her husband creates a barrier between herself and her husband. As a result, they are unable to share their intimate feelings with each other.
As the poem continues, we learn that their child had passed away. He husband looks out the window and states: "The little graveyard where my people are / So small the window frames the whole of it"(24-25). He is not able to understand his wife's obsession with the sight of the cemetery. The husband talks about the "child's mound" (30) and explains that he has buried his son in the family plot. He does not understand the reason that his wife is so mad at him. He tries to talk to his wife about their dead son but is only rejected with her cries, "Don't, don't, don't, don't"(32). The repetition expresses the grief of the wife and her ability to accept the loss of her son. In response, the wife becomes agitated and crumbles on the steps. She cannot stand the mention of her son's passing and wants to run away from their house. She only wants to hide from her emotions. The husband tries helping her and pleads for her to stay, "Amy! Don't go to someone else this time / Listen to me I won't come down the stairs"(41-42). He does not want her to find another person to talk about her sorrow. The husband tells his wife that he has difficulty talking to her: "My words are nearly always and offense / I don't know how to speak of anything / So as to please you"(48). He begs his wife to open her heart to him, "Let me into your grief"(62). He then proceeds to tell her that she exaggerates her " mother-loss of a first child / So inconsolably-in the face of love / You'd think his memory might be satisfied-"(67-69). The husband does not completely apologize to his wife and he blames her grief on her sex. They finally open up to each other and reveal their true feelings. The wife tells her husband," There you go sneering now!" while he answers, "I'm not, I'm not!"(70-71). In confrontation reveals their pent up anger and the struggle to console each other. The feelings of the husband continue to escalate in the next few lines: "You make me angry. I'll come down to you / God, what a woman! And it's come to this / A man can't speak of his own child that's dead"(71-73). The husband is angry at his wife for not allowing him to talk about their dead son. In the same line, he tells us that he wants to grieve in his own way. He wants to be free.
The wife does not reveal the reasons behind her feelings because she does not believe that her husband feels the same way over the loss of their son: "You can't because you don't know how to speak / If you had any feelings, you that dug / With your own hand-how could you?-his little grave"(74-76). The wife tells her husband that she cannot believe that he would be so insensitive as to dig his own child's grave. She resents him for keeping his composure: "You could sit there with the stains on your shoes / Of the fresh earth from your own baby's grave / And talk about your everyday concerns (88-90). It is clear that grieving is less difficult for the husband then it is for the wife. The wife is unable to deal with the digging of her son's grave. As a result, her only response is to laugh through the pain, "I shall laugh the worst laugh I ever laughed" (93). Laughing does not please her. It only causes her more pain.
At the end of their confrontation, the wife blames her husbands and friends for not for not caring about death.
"You couldn't care! The nearest friends can go
With anyone to death, comes so short
T hey mite as well not try to go at all.
No, from the time when one sick to death,
One is alone, and he dies more alone" (101-105).
The italics in the first line indicate the grieving of the husband that is unequal to his wife. It is clear that the wife chooses to express her grief in the reflection of the world and the people in it. She compares her husband to other people in the world. She believes that they are all insensitive to death. They are just like him. She tells him that everyone dies alone. After her speech, the wife takes her grief and throws it back at her husband. She tells him: "I won't have grief so / If I can change it. Oh I won't, I won't!"(110-111).
At the end of the poem the husband tries to settle his wife in telling her, "There, you have said it all and you feel better"(112). He believes that in talking, the wife had a chance to vent out all of her frustrations. She tells him that talking is not enough and that she must leave the house. The wife tells her husband, "You-oh, you think the talk is all I must go / Somewhere out of this house. How can I make you…If -you-do !"(116-118). She opens the door to leave and he calls after her: "Where do you mean to go? First tell me that / I'll follow and bring you back by force. I will!-"(119-120). The italics in the last line emphasize the stress and the anger of the husband. He loves his wife and is very concerned for her. He does not want her to leave. The threat in his voice sounds more like a cry for help then anything. He wants to express his love for his wife but he cannot find the words. As a result, the husband cannot make her stay, as neither is capable in understanding each other and telling each how they really feel. In the end, there is still tension between the husband and wife as things are unresolved. The distance between contines tp remain.. as things are unresolved between them. The distance between the husband and wife and the distance that remains. tension between them is not resolved and the distance between them still remains. The distance between them remains.
In the beginning of "The Death of a Hired Man", we see Mary at home waiting for her husband to return from the market. She is "musing" (1) in telling him news that she knows will cause him turmoil. As Warren enters the house, Mary tells him about a man named Silas that has returned. Mary "drew him down" to sit with her on the porch to discuss Silas. She then tells him to "be kind" (7). It is apparent from the way that she sat down with him to talk about Silas that Mary is a patient person.
In response, Warren tells Mary, "When was I ever anything but kind to him ? But I'll not have the fellow back "(11-12). He asks her "What good is he?"(14) now that he is old and useless to them. Warren is distrustful of Silas because he left them before. He cannot pay Silas the wage that he needs. It is clear that Warren does not care for Silas as he shows no compassion towards the old man. Mary does not feel the same way and speaks up for Silas. She tells Warren that he is poor man that does not want to "beg and beholden"(21). Mary feels piety for Silas and tells Warren that he must hire him. Warren does not want to listen to her and is angry at Silas for being there at "haying, when any help is scarse" (29), and only returning in the wintertime. He does not return her sentiment and continues to blame him. He tells her that he is "done" with Silas. Mary then tries to earn his sympathy and describes Silas as being "huddled against the barn-door fast asleep - a miserable sight, and frightening too" (35-36).
Mary does not understand his feelings and tells him, "Surely you wouldn't grudge the poor old man / Some humble way to save his self-respect"(52-53). She continues to try to change his mind about Silas. Mary tells him that Silas "meant to clear the pasture"(55). She tells him that Silas wants to finish the work that he left unfinished. He wants to achieve something before he dies. Mary then tells him about the problems that Silas had with Harold Wilson. Silas used to argue with Harold "on education when they worked together on the farm. Warren tells Mary that he does not care, "Yes, I took care to keep well out of earshot (73)". Silas is unable to move on from the past as "he still keeps finding / Good arguments he sees he might have used" (78-70). Mary has sympathy for Silas and tells him, " I know just how it feels / To think of the right thing to say too late" (79-80). In her response, Mary tells
together.
