The myth of the Polish Mother has affected attitudes toward motherhood in Poland for many years. It has been a topic of art ever since its emergence. In literature, the Polish Mother has been described and praised in writings by famous Polish writers and poets such as Adam Mickiewicz and others. Likewise, the cinematic world and its filmmakers have focused on the ideal of the Polish Mother in their onscreen works presenting the myth in various perspectives. Some filmmakers portray the power of the myth of the Polish Mother placing women on a pedestal as seen in Janusz Zaorski's Mother of Kings (1982). In most recent decades, however, many filmmakers have focused on the constraints and limitations imposed upon women by this myth. Questions arise concerning the contemporary validity of the ideal of the Polish Mother. In various films, filmmakers have attempted to shine a light on the reality of the experiences of a Polish mother to show that there is more to motherhood than voluntary sacrifice and silence. The myth of the Polish Mother can be interpreted as misleading because perfection is unattainable.
Many filmmakers explore the validity of the myth by deconstructing it through filmic Polish mothers like Irena Misiak in Agnieszka Holland's 1981 film, Kobieta samotna (A Woman Alone) and Leszek Dawid's main protagonist, Ki, in the film with the same title. By comparing these two different, yet similar mothers, the audience is shown the motivation behind modern-day mothers' rebellion against and doubt in this unachievable ideal. Dawid and Holland deconstruct the myth of the Polish Mother by manifestly showing constraints and limitations imposed upon these women. They call attention to the reality of the experiences of Polish mothers and the need for a mother to be selfish (to some extent), self-fulfilling and free in order to be able to lead a life of happiness. These two films argue that women should not be limited by motherhood; instead, they should be able be mothers and themselves. The Polish society ought to accept a woman's right to individuality rather than forcefully imposing one specific role, that of a mother, on her for the rest of her life.
Before exploring the worlds of motherhood of these two aforementioned women and their rebellion against social norms, it is of paramount importance to first briefly examine the essence of who the Polish Mother is and how exactly the myth limits and constrains the everyday life of Polish women. Upon understanding the reasons behind the difficulty in attaining the ideal of the Polish Mother, we can attempt to deconstruct the myth effectively and understand the myths place in today's world.
The Essence of the Polish Mother
Historically, the myth of the Polish Mother surfaced in the nineteenth century while Poland was absent from the world map (Mazierska 15). Because of its deep roots in Poland's complicated and extensive history, the myth is pertinent to many generations of mothers during different historical periods ranging from partitioned Poland through Stalinism and communism. Agnieszka Imbierowicz has researched the origins and roots of the myth over the past century and has effectively presented a vital analysis of the myth by focusing on the strengths and weaknesses driving the icon in her article "The Polish Mother on the defensive?" Reaching back into history, the myth is tied to Poland's long and continuous struggle for independence and resistance against foreign invaders. Besides historical origins, the Polish Mother is also the direct result of strict Catholic values and conservative ways (Imbierowicz 140) which have influenced Poland since its establishment. As a result, the myth of the Polish Mother maintains a sense of tradition and influences the mentality of Polish people toward motherhood and other related issues to this very day (Imbierowicz 148).
As a symbolic national icon of patriotism and sacrifice, the Polish Mother is first and foremost a strong woman who is determined, enduring, and willing to accept her designated role as a mother. By accepting her principal motherly responsibility, the Polish Mother is expected and willingly adheres to the dos and don'ts (Imbierowicz 141) which are rooted in the traditional values of society. Although the Polish Mother is often a mourning widow like Åucja in Mother of Kings, she is nonetheless resilient, driven and irreplaceable in her social role as a nurturer who cultivates pride and national identity at home and raises "good" Polish citizens. Matka Polka is neither selfish nor self-seeking; she devotes herself completely to her family and most importantly her country while never pitying or feeling sorry for herself. The Polish Mother is a person who is not driven by her personal wants and needs, but instead by the social requirements imposed upon her by motherhood; she follows the "do's" and avoids the "don'ts" that are shaped by society.
Confining the Polish Woman
Indeed the Polish Mother is a strong and sacrificing individual; nevertheless problems arise with this icon when the social expectations and requirements of motherhood are explored. The system of do's and don'ts aforementioned and presented by Agnieszka Imbierowicz can be considered a system of confinement. Through the stories of Irena and Kinga (Ki), I will explore how Polish cinema, specifically two movies made by Agnieszka Holland and Leszek Dawid, attempt to deconstruct a social icon that might has limited the identities of Polish mothers for over a century. Perhaps the myth no longer has a place in our modern world- a world that is continuously becoming more globalized and focused on individualism. By deconstructing the myth, these two filmmakers strive to liberate women and allow them to step off their pedestal in order to be themselves instead of following specific rules and guidelines set by society and tradition. It is time to deconstruct the myth of the Polish Mother because it does not allow women to experience the joys of motherhood. The myth creates a burden that is often considered to be the source of all misfortunes as we will see in the case of Kinga and her son PiotruÅ› (Pio) shortly.
Irena and Ki are two confined women whose unpleasant living conditions and lives are exemplar in depicting the need to demystify the icon of the Polish Mother. Unlike Åucja Król who willingly accepts all necessary sacrifices and misfortunes that she encounters in The Mother of Kings, the women in A Woman Alone and Ki do not hesitate to shine a light upon the dark side of motherhood. Dr. MaÅ‚gorzata Bogunia-Borowska from the Institute of Sociology at the Jagiellonian University states in an interview that rebellious Polish mothers like Irena and Ki do deconstruct the myth by not accepting the expectations imposed by society upon them. Instead, they complain about and discuss their negative attitudes toward motherhood, and essentially blame most of their misfortunes on their sons. Until recently, the Polish Mother was expected to accept her suffering willingly and quietly without ever voicing a single complaint. When Åucja is asked about her lot of misfortune, she simply states that others have had it worse. In contrast, contemporary women discuss many issues pertaining to motherhood which up until a few decades ago were considered taboo (Bogunia-Borowska). The simple act of discussing taboo topics slowly assists in the deconstructing process of the myth of the Polish Mother.
Both Holland and Dawid focus on many taboo topics and unacceptable maternal behavior. They dramatize the reality of motherhood so as to allow for the removal of women from the pedestal upon which they have been placed for over a century. Through their films, both directors seek to liberate women of this unattainable ideal of the Polish Mother by voicing their wants, needs and complaints about a society that for so long has accepted and adored this idealized icon of perfection- the Polish Mother.
The Lonely Woman
The underlying weakness of icon is the fact the role of the Polish Mother typically involves being a lonely figure with many tasks to handle independently. The myth has burdened women with a life of loneliness. Both Irka and Ki are abandoned women. Agnieszka Holland skillfully titles her film A Woman Alone to underline the importance of this reality. Instead of painting an image of a satisfied woman, Holland shows Irena as a lonely single mother with an illegitimate child living at the margins of society. She is the victim of a scheming landlord without any support from her family or community. She is a lonesome figure repeatedly surrounded by groups of people at her breakfast table after BoguÅ›'s communion, at the school meeting pertaining to property damage by her son and even at work. The film director visually depicts the forlorn woman "walking along long corridors, being observed by her colleagues" who are in groups while she is see as the outsider (Mazierska 201). Although she is surrounded by people, she is alone and overwhelmingly helpless.
Similarly, Ki is a young mother who is initially encircled by groups of friends and other persons. At first, Leszek Dawid shows a support system that tries to help Ki like her mother who gives her money for food or her friend who allows her and Pio to move in after having an argument with Anto, the boy's father. In the end, Kinga is abandoned by everyone. Her search for a fake fiancée to help in her social welfare case shows her desperation and loneliness. Miko, her roommate, takes on a supportive role for only a short moment, but ultimately leaves her like the rest. Just like Irka, Kinga is deserted by all and lives a life of loneliness which seems to be a direct result of the expectations imposed motherhood and the myth of the Polish Mother. Instead of being able to handle all the tasks that are associated with motherhood, neither of the women is an ideal mother. They are not perfect mothers because motherhood is not their main focus. They instead want to fulfill their personal desires and refuse to remain lonely. Ki is unable to give up her social life because she is in search of friendship and tries to avoid feeling lonely and overwhelmed with being a mother. Although Irka at first rejects Jacek, she falls in love with the man who offers her security and hope. Instead, the only way she leaves her lonely life is through her death. In essence, motherhood and the myth of the Polish Mother have bound these two mothers to a life of loneliness and desperation. The two deconstruct this myth by resisting the lonely life and venturing out in search of friendship, love or any relationship they can encounter at the expense of being the ideal Polish Mother.
Polish Mother in Shackles
Nevertheless, the myth of the Polish Mother is not solely associated with a life of loneliness. It also controls the mentality and expectations of a Polish mother. In Holland and Dawid's films, the female protagonists recurrently feel entrapped and imprisoned in their lonely lives. Ki directly expresses this feeling towards the beginning of the film when her friend reads an excerpt from an article saying, "[…] uwięziona matka przez fundację gatunkową […] to raczej o mnie" (Ki 2011). Kinga feels like a prisoner of her own world. Toward the end of the film, the young mother takes on a project in which she focuses on finding the root cause of her misfortunes and those of all women. She comes to the conclusion that motherhood is the cause of most of her problems and the hardship she encounters. Leszek Dawid paints a realistic picture of motherhood through Ki's troubles and adversity. Because of her desperation to find a support system, financial stability and her struggle in discovering her own identity, Kinga considers motherhood a burden - a source of her misfortune. The title of her truth seeking project is "Oszustwa prawdy" or the "deceitful truth". She explains a visual idea for the video and says that her son will be the fruit of love, and she will be his prisoner (Ki 2011).
Pio's mother is not hesitant to blame motherhood as the source of her problems in life. She, unlike the Polish Mother, refuses to accept her burden and suffering. Kinga wants to break free of the shackles constraining her and attempts to do so by voicing what it is she exactly wants from the world. She rejects the stereotypical role of the Polish Mother and deconstructs the myth.
Like Kinga, Irena is overwhelmed with the misfortunes and issues she has to tackle on a daily basis. Irka's exhaustion is immediately shown when the woman faints upon delivering mail to Jacek's apartment. She too feels trapped by her role as an outsider of society and as a mother who does not fit the stereotype of the Polish Mother. She feels as if she is suffocating and toward the end of the film tells Jacek that she needs a rest. In her interview, Dr. Bogunia-Borowska explains that mothers are trapped by the roles of motherhood because they accommodate their lives to their children (Bogunia-Borowska). The children essentially become the central focus and dictate all aspects of life from the moment they are born. Agnieszka Imbierowicz discusses the danger in this responsibility and writes that it can be alarming especially when a woman tries to be the perfect mother (142) trying to accomplish every role. Although Kinga and Irena are not solely focused on raising their sons, they experience the limitations and expectations of motherhood on a daily basis. This may be the reason why they refuse to adhere to the stereotype and instead decide to redefine the role of the mother. Kinga and Irena desire to break free of the shackles holding them down. By letting their individual desires affect their maternal ways and expressing their dissatisfaction with the demands of motherhood, both women deconstruct the stereotypical, ideal Polish mother who remains silent and accepts her sacrificial role.
Mother Loves Child (and herself)
Although both women live in two different worlds mainly distanced by time, economic and social differences, the two refuse to adhere to the social rules and expectations imposed upon them by society. They criticize their forced roles as dedicated, selfless and sacrificing mothers. Indeed, both women are extremely dedicated to their sons. Irena works hard as a mail deliverer and is constantly exhausted and overwhelmed with her work. Her love for her son is evident in various scenes in which she affectionately speaks to him and cares for him. She does not ignore the wellbeing of BoguÅ› and struggles with the fact that she does not know how to raise a good Polish citizen. She tries to live in a dignified manner while the world works against her. Ki experiences a similar helplessness even though she is a character that is extremely lost and in search of her personal identity. Although she is young and inexperienced as a mother, she too cares for her son by trying to establish some stability in their lives by fighting for social welfare and working various jobs such as posing nude for student portraits at a local academy and dancing on stage at a night club.
Both Irka and Ki do not fail in caring for the general wellbeing of their sons. However, the stereotype of the Polish Mother requires that women like Irka and Ki stay at home and exclusively care for their children and the good of the family. The two women accept being mothers, but other expectations begin to frustrate them resulting in motivation to deviate from the social norms. Unlike the Polish Mother who only focuses on the good and welfare of her children (and her country), Ki and Irka yearn to be more than just lonely mothers. They refuse to adhere to the norm of being selfless and sacrificing figures for the rest of their lives; instead they agree to care for their children, but also focus on themselves and their own personal desires. Ki, for example, loves Pio, but is unable to accept limitations of motherhood that do not allow her to live her life the way she did prior to being a mother. She deconstructs the myth of the Polish Mother by not being as focused on motherhood as expected and required. She refuses to give up a night out on the town with her girlfriends and struggles to find a decent babysitter for Pio. She is a young, selfish mother who does not want to adhere to and accept the fact that the world she lives in is constructed a certain way that does not make sense to her. She loves her child, but also strives to find a way to find her own happiness as well. She and Irena both desire to have the best of both worlds.
Everyone's Imperfect Mother
As discussed, Irka and Ki love their sons unconditionally. Nevertheless, the two women struggle to accept the role imposed upon them by motherhood. They rebel against the social norm of being "imprisoned" housemaids cooking, cleaning and caring for the children. Their rebellion is motivated by the fact that the myth of the Polish Mother completely denounces any need for self-fulfillment. Imbierowicz explains that Polish mothers are "deprived of their physicality, and with it - subjectivity" (147) as they are frequently presented in the context of their motherhood and their family. They are never perceived as individuals with personal needs and desires.
Irka deconstructs this aspect of the icon through her sexuality. Traditionally, the icon of the Polish Mother is heavily desexualized as seen in Åucja Król's character. The ideal Polish Mother is compared to the Virgin Mary because of the Catholic value roots of the myth (Mazierska 20) and is expected to attain perfection. Irka and Ki never had the chance to be ideal mothers because of the unattainable goal the icon presents. The myth of the Polish Mother is "'an impossible ideal [because] motherhood and virginity being mutually exclusive [condemn] real women to a position of imperfection'" my emphasis (Mazierska 23). As a result of this reality, both mothers avoid trying to achieve this unattainable goal of perfection and focus on their personal desires, sexual or not, in search of happiness and fulfillment.
Holland's protagonist "refuses to find satisfaction and masochistic pleasure in a lonely life full of sacrifices"; instead she chooses to have "individual desires and needs" (Mazierska 203) which are represented through her sexual relationship with Jacek. The main factor that indicates Irena's character being a deconstruction of the myth of the Polish Mother is the fact that she abandons her son at an orphanage in order to find self-fulfillment and satisfaction of her personal desires at the end of the film. Dr. Bogunia-Borowska discusses the taboo of this act in relation to motherhood in her interview. She focuses on the unacceptability of a mother abandoning her child. The stereotypical Polish Mother would never leave her child, especially for selfish reasons; instead she would remain by his or her through the good and the bad. Unfortunately, Irena's rebellious behavior leads her to an untimely death. Regardless, through Irena, Agnieszka Holland shows the destructive power of the unattainable ideal of the Polish Mother icon.
The Future of the Polish Mother
Both Leszek Dawid and Agnieszka Holland have presented distinctive ways to analyze the influence of the myth of the Polish Mother on contemporary mothers. Irena and Kinga represent a new generation of women and Polish mothers that want to blend the role of motherhood with self-realization and self-fulfillment. By focusing on the two, these mothers hope to break free of the shackles imposed by the stereotypes of the icon. Imbierowicz discusses the fact that women do not need to be homogeneous through their sacrifice and dedication. Instead, they should be able to enjoy motherhood rather than have limitations and expectations forced upon them by society. Motherhood is a calling, and therefore it should not impose restrictions upon mothers. Women should be free to explore motherhood and their own identities allowing for the former to benefit the latter and vice versa. They should not be defined by motherhood; each woman she define motherhood in her own respective way.
Deconstruction attempts of the traditional iconic Polish Mother will continue as long as economic, cultural and social changes exist. It is most likely impossible to completely disregard the myth of the Polish Mother because of its deep roots in Polish history, tradition and culture. Nevertheless, it is important to realize that the expectations associated with an idealized icon like that of the Polish Mother must reflect current social conditions and changes within the Polish society. As the world becomes more globalized, Poland will continue being influenced by outside cultures and societies. This is inevitable; as a result the myth of the Polish Mother will have to adapt to certain changes whether they are local or global. Perhaps in the near future a new idealized icon will be formed blending Poland's history and tradition with present-day values, culture and social norms. Women like Irena and Kinga will persistently voice their complaints with regards to motherhood and the limitations they encounter until contemporary Polish society realizes a change in the times and decides to question the validity of the myth. Until then, the myth of the Polish Mother will continue to shackle Polish women on a high upon a pedestal in a lonely world.
